zara security guards

so anyway a few days ago, i went to zara (wheelock) and i was carrying a cup of, i dont know man, coked sprite or something, the KFC woman wasnt too good at getting the right order. it was raining pretty bad at that time, and we had to get a little wet to get to zara (because, apparently the only entrance is from outside, and there's no link to the shopping mall)

then the security guard stopped me and told me i couldnt bring drinks inside. "sure, im not drinking it, gonna throw it away, you mind if i pass thru your store and throw it away?" (i wasnt aware that there wasnt a link to the shopping mall inside)
and his reply was quite, blunt, like a "no no, throw it outside, we don't have dustbins here" and i looked outside and found it quite ridiculous he was asking me to walk to a dustbin in the rain. so i asked if he minded if i left the drink there and took it on the way out.

"no no, throw away please". blood boiling man, but i did it anyway. on my way to the dustbin (alot of thinking time btw) i wanted to slam the drink into the dustbin, but i decided that was pretty stupid, and that i would probably dirty myself more than get a kick out of it. i threw it away nicely and went back to the store.

i asked for his name, sort of like an empty threat, but i really wanted him to know i was duly pissed. he refused to give me his name, "no name sorry, what do you want my name for?" and i persisted and eventually he knocked me so far off that i asked to see his manager, this time it wasnt an empty threat, i was really, really, angry with him.

anyway this went on for like 5 minutes or so, i never got to see his manager, and i never got his name. we shopped.

anyway that (later on) started me thinking whether i was a bit of an oppressive dude coupled with a superiority complex. more than this issue, its also about the BGR discussion thing i'm attending, i always seem to be the one with the issues, and the one most persistent at those issues. maybe cos it matters, maybe cos i'm just looking for things to boost my ego (i dont do it consciously of course).

in any case, eventually i decided that yes, i am like that. it got me bothered for a while, then i dont know, i reached this point where i guess all the stress that mounts up from many things just smack.

i broke.

and i prayed that God would use my brokenness to remould me. been trying not to find fault with stuff, and i realise i DO do it alot. looking back, im quite glad i didnt get to see the manager, i wouldnt want the security guard to lose his job.

then on the phone with evan, she said UYH told her that we were too physical. i thought about it for a while, and told God (when we hung up soon after) that yeah, ill be less physical to e'ryone. i wasnt too uncomfortable with that, since im already broken hey.

so there. long entry. more patience, more love, and not to depend so much on expression of affection, physically.