holiday calendar

i decided that for this holiday, i should do one useful thing everyday. i dont know what i define as useful, but i definitely dont count schoolwork as useful :P and of all these days, im going to set aside 2 or 3 days to retreat to the laguna apartment to read the bible the whole day (i hope i can). -edit- OK! i decided that i should do one thing everyday that shows God's love.

28 aug - jogged, and bought some painters (HDB flats) drinks :D
29 aug - shared the 4sl with jiamein, and had a nice talk about what she believes in haha :)
1 sept - bought breakfast for family, but my mom didnt want :( she's actually why i went to buy -_-

hahaha i went into the shower and i saw this cockroach on the ceiling, like in front of the door... then i was like. oh shit. and it looked like it could fly then i was like oh shit again.

hahaha then i dunno man, when i showered i kept looking all over just in case it flew into the shower cubicle (theres a hole at the top) and man... after i finished showering, it was still on the ceiling.. IN FRONT OF THE DOOR.

and it was trying to get onto the other roof tile, and it looked like it was slipping or something half the time. so i spent 15 minutes (YES REALLY) in the shower waiting for it to move aside... all the while saying oh shit oh shit.

cos my clothes were in front of the door, the cockroach was above it so i was afraid it would drop onto it. moreover, since my clothes were there, it would sort of stopper the door if i opened it and rushed out. plus i was afraid it would drop on top of my nekkid body.

so finally i decided to RUNNNNNNNN and i did and ... its still there. -insecticide.

abiding

recently God's been guiding me to learn about abiding in Him. but more than just knowing to abide in His word and find pleasure in following God's will, i've also been trying to live in God's love. hmmm, it's been a while since i've had a 'whoa your presence is here' thing, and i've been pursueing that.

honestly i dont really believe that we shouldnt be chasing 'feelings', i believe God manifests his presence, and 'sensing' the presence of God is one way. it's not the only way, and i'm not relying on these feelings for anything; its just the love, the tangible presence to know He is here.

what happens to the initial salvation experience? why does the power of God, the EMpowerment of God, the faith and courage to say 'ALL things are possible with God!!!' including the exclamation marks, fade away after a while? i am chasing after this confidence and level of faith, because i've tasted this honey from the rock and i know i know i know it is good. then when i get it, i will share it because everyone oughts to know that if rocks make honey better than bees..!