of dialogue and debate (by christianarchy)

of dialogue and debate
By christianarchy (tuffy) on thoughts
thoughts it's one of my greatest weaknesses. on the surface it doesn't sound like one... i mean, how could the fact that i'm always right be a bad thing?
for a long time i've recognized this area in which i struggle. i like to be right. i don't like to admit when i'm wrong. i like to be smart, and i like for everyone to know its true. when someone says something i don't agree with, i tend to want to make sure they understand why they're wrong and i'm right.
but i'm working on it.
i'm learning about it.
i'm learning that the greatest way to be smart is to dialogue. that doesn't come natural to me. my natural inclination is to debate. after all, i was a novice debater for four years in high school. if there's one thing i understand its using immature techniques to win an argument.
the strange thing about the "game" of debate is that the winner doesn't really win anything. no one walks away from a round of debate convinced of the winner's position. only that they happened to argue the loudest or with the most words. or perhaps they just didn't make the mistake of skipping a step in their logic. even more strange is that the winner doesn't have to even believe what they are saying. they just need more points than their competitor.
now i appreciate the high school game of debate. but we sure spend an awful lot of time debating outside of this contest. and where does it get us? see, when it comes to real life debates the purpose of the conversation is still to win, but at much greater cost to both the person we "defeat" and to ourselves.
dialogue, however, has a completely different purpose. where debate seeks to hold tight to where we already stand in order to prove our point, dialogue opens a willingness to not only be heard, but to hear. it means that the real purpose of the interaction is that all involved will come to a better understanding of the subject matter, and therefore everyone wins... everyone moves ahead. and perhaps more importantly, no one is beaten down.
and since dialogue holds within its methods compassion, humility, teachability, and respect, i find it increasingly hard to understand why it is that we, who have the nerve to call ourselves followers of Christ, tend to choose the methods that mean belittling, rigidity, pride, and destruction.
but hey...
i'm working on that.
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i like this post. reflects me, reflects alot of people i'm around :p the debate team thing especially (though i've never been in one).